There are a few reasons for this, ordered for you in a lovely and totally unnecessary list:
- I don't really have much to write about. My life is increasingly banal. Describing how I bought and installed an under-counter light above the kitchen sink to disinterested third parties--that would be you--seems rather pointless.
- I spend way too much time watching TV, and nowhere near enough time reading. Seriously. It's all I do, and it's really sad. I decided tonight that if something isn't worth recording on my DVR, why waste time watching it? The more I read, the more I want to write. It's already the eighth, and I don't think I've picked up a book yet this year.
- I've been reticent about being overly personal in my posts. Blogs have become the essential means of saying either "Hey world, look how fucking great I am," or "I have so much pain to unload on the world. Thank god I have my blog to vent in... or I'd need to go cut myself while listening to Dashboard."
I've been shying away from these stereotypes for quite some time, though I don't really know why. On my last blog, I let total strangers see my psyche laid bare on the asphalt. I think the reason I was so comfortable there was because I knew no one was reading it. When I belatedly found I had a small audience, I felt the need to censor myself. Well, fuck it. If I've got something to say, I'll say it. I'm tired of pulling punches. From now on, I write for me, and any readers are incidental. - Most of the work I take pride in is unintelligible and uninteresting to readers. When I'm at work, I spend my time doing seriously technical work. A good deal of it is in-depth enough that even Microsoft Mikey doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about.
I could easily post an entry proudly describing how I put third party firmware on a WRT54G, hacked it to act as a wireless bridge with 128-bit WEP encryption, had issues with the ARP proxying not working when I tried to netboot a headless FreeBSD client--but who's going to understand that? - I spend less time drinking alone. This is a good thing, obviously. Unfortunately, I've always done my best writing while half in the bag. The words flow smoothly and the subconscious mental blocks in my vocabulary dissolve after a few whiskey and cokes.
- I have very few friends in Madison. Or anywhere, for that matter. I've always had a hard time making and keeping friends. No friends means I spend most of my time in my apartment, means I spend too much time watching TV, means I do nothing and have nothing to talk about.
- I've spent too much time making this list. What the hell was I talking about when I started this whining?
:: scrolls up ::
Oh, right. Explaining why my posts have been crap for the last year.
So I'm starting over. A fresh start for a new year. I'm going to blog more often, about whatever the hell I feel like that day, and just write because I want to write.
I hope you'll continue to read. Chances are pretty good that my quality and quantity will increase in the near future. I appreciate people reading my writing, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop myself from saying things you may find offensive.
